I had an intense dream today. Not intense due to its vivid Technicolor feel. I had always dreamt in 3d, heck 4D, if smell, touch and taste defines that. My dreams almost feels like a doorway to an alternate universe that has many times made me look forward to it, especially when my weeks were filled with mundane tasks. Tasks to be done for livelihood but not really awakens ones lives. Anyway its intensity lays in the message, in the underlining self depiction, of ones subconscious.
I was never one to believe in faith and destiny, fortune telling or mystical powers and the meaning of dreams. Since as long as I can remember I had always dreamt, even taught myself how to remember it when I wake and even try manipulating it, while in one. Either way, I have always known, ones dreams are ones own thoughts and fears, insecurities and wants. Sometimes even just random images, memories, something you have imagined in one point of your life, just vaulted up in the many secret compartments of the mind.
The dream I had made me just realize how inadequate I feel. How insignificant I am as a being on the face of this planet. My dream ended with me taking the full force intended for another knowing that it would be a sacrifice to safe this person’s life and giving my own. When did I start feeling this way? This person in my dream, I hardly know, almost 10 years my junior, at that split second, just as the body is pumped with adrenaline, and the mind is clear and everything seems to be in slow motion, this is the rational decision I made: my life is not worth as much as this other person.
Perhaps maybe at the ripe age of 31, I feel I have done nothing for my society, community, nothing constructive in that effect. All goals and achievements has been completely selfish and for self gain. At the age of 20 something, I was working hard and playing hard too. With little sleep, I used to prepare much for my work, neglecting sleep and food. And finally when I was satisfied with my work, there were countless nights of clubbing and boozing and just plain self indulging. Perhaps at that age it wasn’t anything I could even imagine of, too hard to wrap my senses around it that my life was not only for me, but my life can be used to help make this place a better place for rest of us. I don’t know. All I do know is: I’m not dead and I can still make a difference today. So what can you and i start doing to make that change, today?
